One night I was drinking at my friends house with a couple of people, at one point it ended up just being my friend and her guy friend. I didn't eat dinner and got extremely intoxicated. I remember us being on her bed playing truth or dare and just talking, me trying to set them up because she has a thing for him and they've had sex many times. Here is when I start blacking out. Somehow me and my friend ended up going upstairs to the bathroom together where she asked me if I'd be interested in a *********, I was naive and thought she meant in general and said "yeah maybe." She took that as a go however. I don't recall going back downstairs the next thing I remember is the guy on top of me saying "I'm only doing it I she says yes." And then I remember saying "yes" but I'm not even sure I was understanding what was going on or not, and then I felt pain. Then I blacked out again, the next time I woke up I was puking in her sink and then my friend changed me into pjs. The next morning she told me that the guy had apparently asked he early on in the night if I'd be into having a *********. This situation only gets worse because I have a boyfriend of about three months who I'm falling so hard for and we're crazy for each other. I'm scared that if I tell him he will leave me. He got out of his depression about a year ago but he's helped me so much to get out of mine I don't know what I'd do without him, and I don't want either of us to go back to that darkness. I'm so confused, they both know I have a boyfriend who I adore to pieces and yet they still tried something. Did I cheat? Was it my fault? Should I tell him? I'm certain that I will never be that irresponsible while drinking again and I'm prepared to never drink with this guy again. I know that if I was not blackout drunk I would not have done this, I think cheating is a really ****** thing to do to someone. I need some advice please I'm so lost and I don't know what to do.
emptydaze 18-21, F
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